rockonjohn

I was human enough to have to ask. "Why?"

   "Isabella." He pronounced my full name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand.

 A shock ran through my body at his casual touch. "Bella, I couldn't live with my self if I ever hurt you. 

You don't know how it's tortured me." He looked down, ashamed again. 

"The thought of you, still, white, cold... to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses... it would be unendurable." 

He lifted his glorious, agonized eyes to mine. 

"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."


That was one of my favorite parts in the whole book :D Read it and you'll know why.

Twilight is an amazing book. I highly recommend it to you all. It's so cruel sometimes but I swear you will enjoy every second of it. I absolutely fell in love with it and the authors form of writing. Power to you Stephenie Meyer.

DO THE NOODLE DANCE!!

*does the noodle dance*

If you caught the reference please say so xD

"Adios amor, se que me tengo que ir. No te sientas mal, yo te comprendo. Se que no soy... quien esta en tu corazon. Y en esa razon hoy me sostengo. Llevate de mi, como un regalo final, la maleta de mis iluciones y las letras de un par de canciones... que hablan de lo que siento por ti."

    I had this weird dream the other night. I've been having lots of weird dreams since I got back from training at the temple. Anyways, in this dream there was like a party going on in my house or something and at the time the dream started the party was ending (Booooo! I know). Then while I was saying goodbye to the people I started hearing some singing. It sounded like a bunch of people chanting really. So I went over to the fence that surrounds our property and I kept listening closer. The singing was coming from the cementary, "We'll kill you and eat you... We'll whipe your bones cleans. And if you ever see us your soul will be ours.". The guests then looked at me and were about to ask me what I was doing but I shh-ed them before they even got a complete word out. Then I told them, "The witches are out tonight... you guys better leave now." So they all did and stuff. I went back into the house and turned on all the lights in every room except for some reason my room and my moms rooms were pitch black. And when I went in to turn on the lights I closed my eyes for some reason. Then I heard a knock in the front door and I ran to answer it. "Who is it?" I said standing right next to the door. "It's Denise" she said and I opened the door right away and pulled her in locking the door behind her. "What's wrong?" she said looking at me all freaked out. "Their out and I can feel them coming" I told her and she kind of gasped. Then all of a sudden you hear lots of laughing all outside the house. It was more sinister though... like you know... how witches laugh. Then you hear them start chanting all in unison and when they finished all the lights in the house died and Denise and I were standing in pure darkness. So Denise and I were standing in the living room and I grabbed on to her left hand. There was this weird pretty blue glow that encased them as soon as we touched. We started to pray together and the glow kept intesifying. The witches started chanting again and and finished whatever it was that they were chanting with the word "Unlock!" and every single door in the house unlocked but then I would just wave my hand and they all locked again. So they did that like once or twice more and I kept locking them back up. Then eventually they split into 2 groups, each chanting 2 different things. While 1 group chanted the same thing to unlock the doors the other group chanted something to cause all the windows to open. And when they finished, all the windows swung open along with all the doors unlocking and swinging open. But Denise and I would wave our hands and everything would just shut and lock. Eventually this lady outside started saying "Since when do we care so much about courtesy... why not just break everything open?" followed by one of their freaky laughs. And that's what they did. Again they started chanting together and when they finished all the doors broke and flew across the hall and all the windows just broke as well. You could hear all the glass hitting the floor (neat sound effects). By this time though Denise and I were both completely covered in these huge blue glows. Like all our body covered and stuff. We both had our eyes closed right up until that moment when we both opened them. Like you could still make out the details of our face and clothes and stuff except it was all inside this blue glow and everything was well blue... but our eyes, when we opened them was just white light. Anyways all the witches came in and looked at us and gasped. Denise and I let go of our hands and she started shooting blue orbs of light at them. While I encased them all in the the same colored light and threw them out into the night. But I guess they were too many cause I turned around and looked at Denise and said something in a different language and she nodded. Then we both turned around and jumped out window and...flew o.o

I know weird...

     I officially have writers block. I haven't been able to write a decent poem ever since Katie and I broke up. And I have no idea why... You would have thought that our break up would have given me all these emotions that would inspire so many poems... but that wasn't the case. Actually I was kind of surprised to feel nothing. I mean I knew I loved her before I left to Mexico... but then something changed when I came back. It just didn't feel right anymore. And she kept telling me she loved me and expected me to say it back but I just couldn't. I mean I told her a couple of times and it was true. It was just that while I was talking to her I always kept thinking that I didn't want to be with her because it wasn't the right time. It just didn't feel right. It felt forced or something... It's not that I stopped loving her when I came back but it just felt weird and wrong. She ended up breaking up with me because of it. It dosen't matter though, I enjoy being alone more than in a relationship. I think I'm just not quite ready for them or maybe I'm subconciously afraid of them because of my whole family and stuff. Either way, I think I'm officially done with relationships for a while.
     There is so many people in this world that I would just kill to have near me. I bet alot of you don't know it but I really admire you some of you guys. Especially Katie (San Antonio Katie not my ex) and Sarah. There is something about you 2 that really makes me admire you and I can't quite put my finger on it. I mean, I can list lots of things that make you girls great but that still isn't it. Maybe it's just an "X Factor" or something. But seriously, there is very few people who can actually make me genuinely smile and you two do it without any effort. I think I'm gonna kidnap you 2 and like keep you in my pocket or something. But yeah just so you 2 know... You're amazing and don't let anyone tell you any different. And if anybody does then their just idiots and you shouldn't be talking to them anyways. =P
    
   I think I need a hug now. I'm not really feeling sad or anything but I'm just going through one of those moments where you just kind of wish that someone would just hug you without you asking them. Dosen't matter who as long as someone does it without any real reason. Sometimes I wonder how the hell I've made it this far without committing suicide. So many things I wish I could say just for the sake of finding someone to listen. I don't think I'm made out to be a dark, mysterious person. I'm naturally a loving, happy and friendly guy who loves to talk to anyone who wants to talk. My family just made me this way I think. 
    I think I figured out why I'm feeling like this right now. I believe it's like the calmness before the storm you know? Maybe it's about time I just finally cry and let it all out. That would be so nice. It would so great. The relief is really needed so I can go on. Inside, my emotions are a total wreck. And I'm starting to need someone to straighten out the zig-zagging lines. Maybe I should go see a shrink... That be pretty great. You know ever since I saw that commercial where a guy places a sofa in the middle of a sidewalk and just lets people sit down and talk to him about whatever they want, I've been wanting to do that. It would be so great and would probably help alot of people just feel better. But then I actually question how many people would actually sit down and talk. This society is so hell-bent on being everywhere at the same time that they probably would either think it's stupid or a waste of time. I thought the idea was amazingly clever and brilliant. I would love to do it some day.

  So they gave a little puppy (Chihuahua) to my last night and now I'm here taking care of it. Their so whiny... This is why I'm a cat person >_> It's cute though. She named him "Valentin Elizalde" who was a spanish singer who was recently murdered. So many people dying now a days. Does anyone think this world is getting out of hand or something. It seems to me like everyone is going crazy that they can't even hear themselves think. I don't know it's just that everything looks so gray and... psycho. Something big is coming... and you'd be an idiot not to notice the signs and the changes. I mean the simplefact that the climate is going haywire should be an in-your-face sign already. While I was in Mexico I was talking to my grandma about it and we started talking about how butterflies just don't come around like they use to nor the birds. She was also saying how her favorite kind of bird (don't remember the name) use to always come around her house and chirp and stuff but like 2 years ago they just stopped going. Call me crazy but I feel something is coming and I'm also thinking it's a little too late to do anything about it now. I hope for hope... because it's the only thing we're going to have to hold on to... or so it appears.